BBDW 80 [END] [Black Butterfly] - Nevereverland

Epilogue (UNEDITED) 

The weather was warm enough to be a little hot. Now the old woman, with light-grey strands began to mix in her hair, stopped her hands as she was pruning the garden and straightened her back for a while. Perhaps because of her age, her body, which used to be unaffected even after spending hours in the garden, was creaking strangely these days. After a few pats on the waist, she suddenly looked back on the quiet side of the road. It’s the suburb of Chicago and a man was walking carelessly on the road with few people coming and going. Dark blond hair and green eyes, he had only one small backpack on his shoulder. The old woman tilted her head.

It was very rare for an outsider to enter this town.

Glancing around and looking all over the place, he soon found the old woman and shouted and asked.

"Well, which way do I have to go to get out of this town? I'm new here, so I don't know the way."

"Well, I guess you’re in the wrong direction. It'll be about three more blocks away and just follow the signs."

"Oh-thank you. Excuse me, I'm really sorry, but could you give me a glass of water? I'm thirsty because I've been going in circles around here for two hours."

The old woman, who was watching the young man gasping and fanning with his hand in place just like what big dogs do on a summer day, soon burst into a small smile. "Of course, hold on a second, young man." As she entered the house patting on her stiff back, she soon walked out with a glass of water. He must have been really tired, as he leaned against the fence and ruffling through his hair with an annoyed look on his face. He welcomed the water the old woman gave him. It was only after emptying more than half of them at once that the greeting came out.

"Thank you. It's surprisingly complicated here."

"Hohoho, yes. It's a bit difficult when outsiders come for the first time. By the way, what are you doing here? There's no way you're going up here for sightseeing. Were you going somewhere else?"

"Just, there's someone I want to see for a second. I’ve been walking around and reached this place, since someone I knew lived here."

"Oh, my God, is that so? Who, your friend? Or family?"

Fiddling his scattered blond hair with his hand, he smiled a little awkwardly.

"Well, it's a little vague. I didn't come here to talk to her; I just wanted to know how she’s doing. It's a little awkward to say we're close."

"Well, you must have had a fight."

He shrugged his shoulders. As he took another sip of water, his face calmed down much more than before.

"Well, I was abandoned. I guess I didn't mean much."

"Oh, my God, is it your lover?"

The young man burst into laughter as if it was really funny and covered his mouth with his hand. After a long breath of laughter, he soon raised his head and wiped away some tears.

"Well, I don't know what to say, but it doesn't matter now. She didn't even recognize me."

"Oh, come on, there are so many women in the world."

He nodded his head half-heartedly and laughed. The carefree impression looked a little dazed somewhere. Is he dumped because she doesn't trust him? Mumbling her rude question inwardly, the man suddenly said to her.

"Nice house, huh? And a nice garden. How long have you been doing this?"

"Oh, I've only been here a few years. My husband retired from his business in New York. It was a pretty famous company, I wonder if he's run out of energy now. We're staying in peace here now, I guess."

"Well, the business must have cost you a fortune; you must have been quite rich."

Unlike the young man smiling with admiration, the smile on the old woman's face was erased for a moment. The reason is, a not so good memory begins to creep out slowly. Being silent with a shaded face, she then came to her senses at the young man's puzzling call.

"Ma’am, are you sick?"

"Oh, no, no. Well, I was lucky. I happened to have a big sum of money coming in. I was able to help rebuild my husband's hard-earned business. So it's been running smoothly so far."

"Oh, I see. It's a relief to hear that.”

The woman shuddered, but nodded her head and agreed with a smile. Yes, it was a good thing. Fortunately, their children were able to go to private schools safely, and now they were also on the road to success in the elite ranks. The old woman, who was forced to look at the young man, suddenly narrowed her eyebrows. She had a strange feeling. Is this what you call a sense of deja vu? No, I think it's a little different from that. The young man opened his eyes wide and asked the old woman, who tilted her head with a very puzzled face.

"What's wrong?"

"Have I seen you somewhere? You look a little familiar."

"Come on, I told you. It's my first time in this town."

He smiled and waved his hands. Yeah, I guess so. My memory got blurry as I got older. She laughed along, rebuking herself lightly. He shrugged after emptying all the remaining water at once.

"It was a coincidence that I came here today. And until I found the house here, I had no idea how it would feel. It was a situation where I could have been angry."

"Oh, my God. I guess you’re very disappointed. Why, did she leave you without telling you?"

"Similar. It was one-sided. I haven't seen her for a long time. So when I saw her again, I was a little nervous because I didn't know how to react. I didn't want to cause trouble."

"Be careful, if you act emotionally, you'll regret it later. Did anything happen to you?"

The man then laughed a little differently than he did before. It was an easy-going but somewhat empty laugh.

"Yeah, well, it feels a little weird, but I don't even feel like getting angry. It's too late to be angry. What is she gonna do even if I’m mad? She won't take me seriously anyway."

"Yes, yes. It's always bad to get angry. You’re a wise young man."

The woman smiled broadly and frowned again. That's weird. I'm sure I've seen him somewhere. A long time ago, somewhere. Before she could finish thinking, the young man smiled with his eyes and handed his glass to the woman.

"Well, I'm going to get going. Thank you for the drink and…. what’s your name?”

"Oh, Darlene. It's Darlene Hill. I’m usually called Mrs Hill, and my friends call me Darlene."

The old woman answered, taking the handed over glass. The man raised his hand and waved lightly as a greeting.

"Yes, then goodbye, Mrs Hill. Keep your garden pretty."

"Yes, young man. Goodbye, watch your way."

From behind, he appeared like he’s wobbling away. His cell phone rang so he took it out and then spoke half-heartedly. - "Oh, why again. Hate it. No, I’m not. Why do I have to report to you one by one? Oh my God, you're so smart. Feel free to think." – He stretched out once and walked away to the end of the road. Watching as he cast dark shadows on the ground for a moment, she went into the house with the glass. In front of the sink, she turned on the water with a nagging feeling that she couldn't shake off.

I've seen his face before. Is he the one I saw in New York when my husband was on a fishing trip with his friends? It's definitely not the face I saw after we retired and moved here. When I was in New York, I saw so many people. But for a young man that age now, when I was in New York, he'd be a very young student or a little kid. I don't remember knowing other kids that age in New York. Did I happen to see him at a bus stop or something like that?  

Darlene's hand, which was washing the glass, stopped. A child? An ominous feeling wriggled in her stomach. There was one more child, except her children, who she knew in New York. Suddenly, one day, appearing as if it had dropped out of the sky, a lump of luggage was placed in her house that was already in a difficult situation. But what the child brought wasn't a burden, and the adults took advantage of it. And the child, a strange-looking child with blond hair and green eyes was brought by Darlene’s hand to….

"Oh, my God….. Oh, my God…..!"

Clink! The cup that fell from Darlene's hand broke into pieces. Darlene took a step back, covering her mouth with trembling hands. Things from the past suddenly came running and were coming at her. Darlene looked outside once with overwhelmed eyes. Her feet, which soon ran out, were staggering a little.

"Hen...!"

Tears seemed to pour out as soon as she whispered out part of the names she had buried deep in her memory. She didn't know if it was regret or fear. She looked around with trembling eyes, but his shadow was no longer visible. Only the beautiful scenery of the peaceful and languid suburb stood out. No, no. You can't do this. Darlene walked up to the fence and looked around more closely. But there was still nothing to be seen.

Darlene slumped in the middle of the garden, feeling her heart sink. Darlene from nearly 20 years ago. She needed the money, and there’s no need for another mouth to suck her money. So, so. She threw the child to the monster and turned her back. She didn't have the guts to look back on her sins. Covering her ears, under the guise of his convenient ignorance, she didn't even try to remember him. And he didn't give Darlene a chance to atone. The child she 'sold' for her home is now gone after drinking only a glass of water calmly. Yeah, those green eyes. The green eyes which seemed to be empty somewhere. How could she forget? The strange look on his face which didn't look like a child. Of course, since she tried hard to forget that. She already knew the abominable answer.

"Hender..."

-I was abandoned, she didn't even recognize me.

-She won't take the one she abandoned seriously.

No, it's not. It wasn't like that. I mean it. Darlene stuttered out words that no one would listen to.

The weather was mild. In a beautiful garden in a quiet and beautiful remote suburb, the old woman sat sprawling, shaking her head endlessly and covering her face with both hands. She couldn't even think of wiping what was flowing between her fingers until the sound of sobbing and panting surprised the neighbour who was passing by the house and calmed her down.

I don’t pity you. Thor-Oppa, I summon thee to please hammer this woman with your Mjolnir. Honestly, I'm super angry reading this Epilogue but I have nowhere to vent. Talking about the ifs and the if nots are pretty much useless at this point. But that phone call manages to extinguish my heartburn hehe.

Putting that aside, I can't believe that we have reached Epilogue now after how much blood, sweat and tears poured on translating this novel. Now I only wish that I can forget everything so I can read from the very beginning like I've never read it before *crying intensifies. I miss that feeling. Who's with me *raise your hand. But hey you might actually notice some clue you didn't before if you read it for the 2nd time.

I personally feel that this novel is realistic overall and we can feel how 'human' these characters are. And I like how the author sort of portrayed our MC as a bruised but not broken character. Some might feel put off with how dark this novel is since we don't routinely see or being exposed to the dark side of society in real life except in news or personal experience. But just because we don't see it doesn't mean it's non-existent right? Let's hope those people will be able to reach a safe haven like Jude and maybe, you know, feel that life has meaning.

Anyway, I don't have anything against this kind of ending because we are all a work in progress you know. Just like how Jude and Alvin continuing their 'personal legends' I guess. Hahah. I'm just a bit sad that Tim was 'abandoned' by Jude. Maybe Tim actually changes after Jude left. Who knows.

Second last but not least, thank you for reading and commenting and I did read them all whether on this website or my previous wordpress and I hope you can give some reasonable review that this novel deserved on Novel Updates (despite how lacking my translation is) and hopefully many more can read this gem. And I have to say sorry for the last thing I'm going to elaborate on below (May BL insurance protects me QAQ).

Actually, I did make lots of edits on most chapters with or without notice before this. So, something might feel different the next time you read this but there's no change to the plot don't worry. The chapters I've marked EDITED will be considered the final revision. But for everything to be marked EDITED will probably take some time. I'm lazy you know. Since I'm one human army here in terms of translating, editing, proofreading, quality checking, monitoring comment section and google analytics and doing some minor + uselessly not cute tweak to this website. Hahah.

And if you're wondering, 'personal legends' that I mentioned above is a reference from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho in case you haven't read it yet.

So, I guess this is it peeps. Muahhh. See you when I see you.