BBDW 26 [Black Butterfly] - Nevereverland
Section 23.2 (UNEDITED)
"Ah, no I'm not working. Stop it, my friend's here. He’s a cop? What, you want him to catch you? Yes, do this next time. No, that doesn't mean I’m going to pick up. Are you crazy? Do you want me to keep talking to someone else on the phone? Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm hanging up."
He put down the receiver, and Jude flopped down next to Tim. After a moment of hesitation, Tim hemmed and hawed then opened his mouth.
"Who is it?"
"Oh, you know the guy whom I got the phone call from in front of Jeffrey before. He says he’s being chased for debt, but he keeps asking this poor policeman for help."
"………. since when did you know each other?"
Instead of answering, Jude stared at Tim with his green eyes unwittingly. At the sight, a fever rose as if the back of his head was burning. Trying to quell the heat, Tim picked up the beer can with little content left. He licked a few drops of beer on the tip of his tongue, and Jude asked in a voice that was not much different from usual.
"What did Jeffrey say? He thinks I keep in touch with Alvin Jones?"
"......that......"
"So what, he asked you to keep an eye on me? So are you carrying it out now?"
Tim felt a continuous prick tingling in his stomach. This guy's been like that for a long time, he had a good intuition, not for nothing. People would guess like ghosts when someone hides something without really looking at it properly. Their words were likely to be mixed with anger, but Jude's tone was just flat. I can't hide it - Tim intuitively realized that and shook his head eagerly. There was no way but, to be honest.
"Not yet ... I don't know."
"Hmm, you're considering. Because you were suspicious of what I was hiding."
"I don't really doubt you or...!"
Yelling unconsciously, Tim regretted it a little. But Jude glanced at Tim, crackling his foot slightly. Stuttering to say something for a while, Tim finally sighed.
"...... I don't…... I don't know. Jeffrey told me this and that about you. I don't know what to say. I knew you were an orphan, and not only that, well, I heard that you had no memory until you were ten years old..."
He was curious about his reaction and a little scared, so Tim looked up a little bit and stared at Jude, but he was nodding his head with a calm face. When he asked, "What else?" Tim continued, feeling faint bewilderment.
"I've heard that the first time you saw the body at the scene, you hardly flinch, and when you rescued a girl before, she said something about you. Well, and finally, Jeffrey asked me if I've ever been invited to your house."
At the end of the talk, Tim stared straight at Jude. At the sight of his partner holding a can of beer, he couldn't feel a single drop of an oddity. Instead of an exemplary reaction of a person whose secret past was suddenly exposed to his partner through the mouth of others-- "Who is he? Why is he spreading other people's affairs?" - Jude laughed instead, slapping his shoulders.
"So that’s why all of a sudden our Tim asked something weird? Because you're confused about whether you're really close to me or not? No, what did you see about that guy—that you’re doing this?"
"Uh, uh..... well, let's just say......."
"Oh, he's got a nasty temper, too. So, what was the problem?"
"......uh?"
"To be honest, it's a little hard to find something that can make you sulky here, but don't you think the fact that I don't remember before I was 10 years old is not something anyone would want to spread, not me, and what would I say to you? Why should I say first that I don't remember before I was 10? I'm not a psychopath who's dying for pity."
"Oh, well, but ..."
"The first field case, the detective I worked with back then, was dull. It was unpleasant enough, though I barely threw up. He didn't know because I didn't frown or anything. Tim, you know when I'm in a bad mood, I make a blank face. Oh, and what about the girl? Speaking of Marilyn, what did the little girl say?"
"Oh, well. She said you seemed to be missing something..."
"Me, of course. Do you know how many days of sleep I lost for that little kid? It was something that I unconsciously showed in a dazed state when I saved her. Wouldn't it be even more surprising if I was that strong back then? I had scepticism about the job of a detective for the first time. If it's this hard, I think I'd better find another office job."
Tim looked at Jude, who was waving his hands from time to time, in a daze. A strange feeling rose from the inside of his abdomen. It feels like he was screaming at a piece of newspaper that is blown by the wind on his way back from watching a horror movie.
In fact, all the things Jude said were understandable. It is quite difficult to discern his facial expressions when Jude is displeased. Tim himself only noticed it after the end of their first year. The so-called childhood memory and the girl's case were, in common sense, natural. If Tim had such a past for himself, he would never want to spread it. Finally, the testimony of a girl named Marilyn? How exhausting a person's nerves are when handling hostage cases. In a way, it was inevitable that Jude seemed to lack something in the child's eyes.
In front of Tim's eyes, sitting with a gawky face and gawky posture, Jude chuckled and laughed.
"And, I've been to your house first. I looked inside your house, and I thought I'd never, for the most part, bring up my house. Well, it's bigger than the difference between the hotel room and the inn room. And, well, my house has a lot more problems than yours, so I have to take care of it more. Why would you come to my house when you're so wealthy? To have rich and poor experience?"
With a giggle, Jude laid himself obliquely on the narrow, old sofa, nudging Tim’s lap with his foot. Tim's face slowly turned red as he struggled to endure the shaking. I can't believe I’m doubting my partner and instead listen to other people when he's been leaving his back to you for five years. Moreover, it was shameful that he had said such a thing honestly with his own mouth. Tim turned his head around, and he had to say what he wanted to say. To Jude, who’s still smiling, Tim said, trying not to stutter.
"I, I'm sorry. Well, I, hearing that from Jeffrey one after another, and my head, it's a little confused..."
"Ah, I understand, I understand. There's nothing to apologize for. It's good to see how our prim-hearted Tim would react."
"I'm really sorry. I guess one way or another it’s my fault. I'll buy you a drink later."
"It's not a reward because you usually buy it."
Hearing Jude said that brazenly, the nervousness in the corner of Tim’s heart slowly unravelled. It wasn't until the heat of his face had subsided a little that Tim managed to look straight at Jude's face. The blond detective, even in a half-laid position, was skilfully tilting a can of beer. After a moment's hesitation, Tim began to speak in a low voice.
"But..."
"En? Anything else you're curious about?"
"That, before ten years old, what is it that you don't remember...... can I ask?"
"If I say no, you'll worry about it again in the corner of the room, right?"
Seeing Jude smiling obnoxiously and biting the mouth of a can of beer slightly with his teeth, Tim laughed dejectedly. It felt like he was mistaken for a teenage girl, for having the same sensitivity. Jude, who rolled his eyes around for a moment then hemmed and hawed "Hmm..." soon opened his mouth slowly.
"Well......... what should I say, I literally don't remember. I was just walking on the road. I know that I'm 10, but I don't remember anything else. Well, I was just standing there, but adults took me to the orphanage on their own. I, I was wearing an incredibly old outfit back then. I didn't remember, so I had a blank face. Well, that's why I was sent to the orphanage."
“What happened before that…… you have no idea?”
"Yes, I don't know. I don't remember a thing. I'm not really curious. Forgetting means it isn’t a time full of happiness and laughter. What do I do by remembering?"
It was a fresh answer, but it was not refreshing to hear that. Tim nodded faintly with his mouth shut - He couldn't think of anything to say – and Jude jumped up to his body from the slanting posture and punched Tim’s shoulder lightly with his fist. Looking back curiously, there was a smiling face as usual.
"Is that enough? What else should I say? You scared me because our Tim doesn't usually get upset."
"Oh, hahaha..... just a little, shocked. Oh, but Jude. Is his letter still coming? Was there any other contact?"
"Uh-huh. He writes letters consistently. He's diligent. But I didn't have enough information to report, and I feel like I'm going to be in some kind of trouble if I do."
As Jude shook his head, Tim seriously hardened his face and looked back at his laid-back partner.
"You….. you're not saying you’re in danger, are you? He's threatening you or something……."
"Oh, it’s not like that. It's just like saying hello in the morning. I'll tell you if it's dangerous. Do you think I'm so timid that I can't keep quiet after receiving a letter like that?"
In response to Jude's nonchalant answer to opening a new can of beer, Tim laughed. What did he hear that he needs to doubt? It's not Jeffrey who's seen him for five years, it's Tim himself. Whatever he was in the past, the important thing was what Tim saw him as. Jude has a connection with Alvin Jones? Similar? But isn't his choice that matters? Now he was a cop in New York, a partner of Tim. It was his way of life. And that was the most important thing.
Somewhat overwhelmed, Tim flicked Jude's cheek who was gulping a new beer with his hand. Although a little protest broke out -- "Tim, are you crazy?! Why are you hitting my face while drinking... Oh, it's all gone!" -- Tim just smiled brightly and picked up another can.
* * *
Phew, but yk that little sentence when Tim tensed up" I think his instinct was right. Jude probably didnt like him very much in that moment
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