BBDW 25 [Black Butterfly] - Nevereverland

Section 23.1 (UNEDITED)

"......Jude."

"Huh?"

"Don't you have anything to cook at home?"

"Yes, I don't."

"......do you live on beer?" The first time he set foot in Jude’s old apartment; it was the scene before his eyes that made Tim’s brain exploded before he could feel any appreciation. The clothes that were thrown away here and there, the fluorescent lights that flickered like the morgue lights, and most of all, the unbearable thing was the table with the beer cans lying here and there and on the cabinet. Whether or not he noticed that Tim’s face was slightly stiffened, Jude answered, throwing the house key roughly onto the table.

"No, I eat peanuts, too."

".....let's go grocery shopping tomorrow when we come back."

"No, Tim. Two men get misunderstood when they go grocery shopping." Giggling, Jude flopped down on the sofa. Avoiding clothes and newspapers on the floor, Tim walked to the side of the refrigerator and opened the door, but then stopped talking for a while.

"Are you a beer addict?"

"It's a meal substitute. Good for late-night movies. It's okay, I drink once a day."

"......what's ice cream in the freezer?"

"Oh, I think I bought it a year and a half ago, but I don't know if it’s still edible."

Oh my God. Shaking his head, Jude sitting on the sofa sprang up and came to the side of the refrigerator. All of a sudden, Tim's body flinched on its own. It’s a normal distance, but for some reason, his muscles tensed. In a casual gesture, Jude picked up a beer from the refrigerator.

"Do you want a drink, too?"

"....... Ah....... Just one."

Stuttering a little, Tim sat on the old sofa following Jude. The sound of spring creaking made his ears ring. Ttak, Chiik. - Opening the lid of the beer can, Jude drank the beer like he was drinking water. Again, opening the can lid, Tim looked silently at the beer froth for a moment. It was so easy. I haven’t done it in five years. It was a house where you could come right away with just one word. Somehow, in a bitter and fresh mood, he rode his fingertips around the watery surface of the can, and beside him, the soft voice asked casually.

"So, what happened?"

"Huh?"

"The pipework, it's a lie. Why did you suddenly say you wanted to come to my apartment?"

The beer can, which was about to be put on the table again, stopped midway and Tim turned to Jude with a blank face. His blond-haired partner giggled.

"You don't have talent in lying. You didn't think you'd get caught? We've been together for five years, you know? Come on, tell me. What is it, a love affair?"

For about eight seconds, Timothy Maxwell agonized wildly. What should I do, just let it all out? Everything Jeffrey said? But am I prepared to deal with Jude’s reaction that will follow? What if Jude turns to a complete attitude at that moment? No, that means everything good so far has been faked all along, so wouldn’t it be better to suffer earlier anyway? But, but—

-Am I ready to endure the moment?

Are you prepared to treat Jude as a stranger and be treated like that?

No, if all of these worries are useless in the first place, then you're just worrying like a fool, right?

"Tim?"

"...... Jude, that, that. Today I'm a little... "

"Are you sick?"

"No......."

For a moment, Tim looked at Jude’s round eyes and took a deep breath once. He has no knack for beating around the bush, and what Tim was curious about now was self-evident.

"We're close, aren't we?"

"......Ah?"

Jude's expression changed as if he had seen a penguin dawdling on a tropical beach. Despite the sensation of blood rushing into his face, Tim stoutly looked directly into Jude's eyes. Nothing came to mind except throwing fastballs. When Jude's eyes, which had been blankly open for a while, found their own light again, the eyes were worried.

“……Tim, are you sick?”

“I’m not kidding.”

“……Did you watch any drama?”

“I didn’t watch it.”

“…….heuk……..hik……..”

“Kuhahahahahah!" - An explosive laughter swirled around the room. Putting down the can of beer, Jude grabbed the sofa as if to pull it out and began to convulse like he was out of breath. By the time the laughter eventually turned into a hiccup, Jude managed to catch a breath and gasped wildly toward Tim.

"Ah, you, really, uh, why, that, you’re suddenly thinking about it?"

"………. Mr Jeffrey, said a few things when he asked about you. Well….."

"What? What did you mean? Do I look like I'm at odds with you?"

"No..."

At this point, he had no choice but to take a little more time. The nape of his neck heated up. Really, can I tell you? Finally, Tim bit his lips looking at his partner’s face with tears around his eyes.

Ring Ring.

At the dry ring of the telephone, Tim’s shoulders flinched a bit overwhelmingly.

"Wait a minute."

Jude, who stood up, brushed past the front of Tim. Recalling the scene before his eyes, Tim tilted his head for a moment.

-He looked, strangely expressionless?

"Hello...... Hey, why are you calling again? I don't have time today. There's a guest at home.... friend, friend. Why. Never mind, hang up…... not today."

His voice sounded calm but faintly perplexed. At the same time as Tim thought, who could it be? – Jeffrey’s stark voice came into his head.

– There’s a possibility that he won’t tell you even if Alvin contacted him, so please keep an eye on him.

– Please keep an eye on him.

The back of his head has been aching faintly. Looking at the side view of his partner holding the phone, Tim picked up the can of beer that began to shed water vapour and gulp it down.