BBDW 45 [Black Butterfly] - Nevereverland
Section 39 (UNEDITED)
- You don't know anything about me.
Why did the words, among his other words,
which were all filled with mockery and laughter, sound so sad? When he said it coldly,
with the gravity of just notifying the person who will take his own life, or
the anger that his name was stolen, why did it sound so painful? He shook his
head roughly and fell on the sofa, and someone knocked on the door.
TangTang, a small sound rang in his ears. When he saw the phone time as he was dumbfounded
by the sound - It was past 12 o'clock - Jude approached the door. Turning the
doorknob, Jude narrowed his eyebrows to a certain conviction.
"......you weren't sleeping?"
His usual smiling face appeared from behind
the door. Looking at him without expression, Jude lightly clicked his tongue
and turned around. He could clearly feel the presence of him following in.
Sitting so naturally on the old sofa that Jude loves, Alvin looked at Jude.
Signalling with his eyes to have a seat - Jude sat a little distance away from
him, shaking his head with a flutter.
"Why did you open it?"
The answer to the sudden question was
superficial.
"Who won't open the door when someone
knocks on it?"
"You knew it was me."
"......since you're already inside, stay
a little quiet. Then, let me ask first."
"What is it?"
"You... why were you caught by me
then? No, why did you give the police a lead in the first place? You could hide
it so that anyone didn't know enough."
"Oh, that one."
Alvin paused for a while. For a moment,
turning to Jude and looking at the floor, Alvin slowly opened his mouth. It was
the slowest and most prudent way he had ever said.
"I thought I wanted to find
someone."
"Who? Someone you know?"
"No, someone like me. Anyone who can
catch me should be able to predict my behaviour and think like me. If anyone
caught me before I killed her, I thought it would be someone who understood me
by feeling, not by going through the steps like profiling. The rest could be
done by observing. Since time was running out."
"..........why would you want to find
someone like that?"
"Well, wouldn't it be similar to what
I said in the hospital before? I'm sick and tired of acting in sync, and I feel
suffocated to be surrounded by people who love my mask. It wasn't bad to
continue experimenting on people alone, but there was a limit to it. The limits
to meaning, the limits to emotion, the limits to interest. That's why I took a
small gamble. Just in case I get caught. I was really suffocated. With boredom
and an unknown emptiness."
"Today you…... that one you told him he
didn't know you at all..."
Jude's slight stammering spread a smile
around Alvin's lips.
"Oh, you caught it. It was similar to
then. He ended up just loving the mask that I made. He didn't understand me. I
didn't leak a clue to the police for entertainment. There was a sense of
desperation, and there was also a small thrill of gambling. What's that, what
do you call it, anticipation?"
"And you ... what did you say to him then?
You said something more."
"Before I answer that, you answer too. Why did you open the door knowing it was me?"
Jude groaned in embarrassment at the
persistent blue-grey eyes. There was one solid answer coming to his mind, but it
was unpredictable how he would take it. But it wouldn't work for him to pass it
on like a lie. Eventually, brushing his hair, Jude said sparsely.
"Just....... Today you, would you say that
you are strangely touching........"
"I’m touching?"
"What should I say...... just, a little
pitiful. Weirdly, people don't know anything about you...... and I, too, don't
know anything about you......yes, I admit, it was crazy."
It's not that I don't understand. He cut off his words and shrugged, and Alvin strode up and hugged
Jude’s shoulders. A slightly lower body temperature reached over his shirt
coolly, and Jude stopped talking. He was a criminal, and he got very special
attention. No one didn't know him, there were quite a few people
who were his fans, and there were even fan sites centred around him. On the
other hand, people with intense hatred, too. Without any warning, Jude heard a
whisper in his ear. In his voice, there was a minute smile.
"Of course, at that time, I'm glad I
leaked the clues to the police. If I had known you were coming, I would have
done it earlier."
"..........you’re good at smearing
detective names. You mean you can leave prison at any time?"
"Aha, I'm sorry. Earlier, you asked me
what I said to him, right? I'll let you know."
A short voice whispered in Jude's ear.
Jude's eyes widened for a moment, then closed after a while. Outside the
window, thin raindrops began to tap on the glass. Isn't the sound of rain the
most musical nature you can usually hear? Thinking blankly, Jude turned to the
window, not pushing his body away. Once again, the voice sounded softly in the
rain.
"Jude, can I call you?"
"If I say no, you aren't going to call
me?"
"Gee, that's harsh."
A peal of soft laughter mixed with the sound of
rain. Hudeudeudeuk, the rain began to hit the window as hard as if it
was about to come in. Will it rain tomorrow morning, I don't want that.
Thinking lightly, Jude closed his eyes. What he just heard left a lingering
impression on his head like long drum vibrations.
-Me, it’s not true that I'm not afraid of
anything.
The sound of rain intensified, and Jude
began to feel drowsy. He had to go to bed early, but he couldn't stop his
tumultuous heart.
"-de, Jude!"
"Oh, uh, yeah?"
Turning his head, Jude stared at his
partner's slightly frowning face under the orange lights of the bar. It wasn't
the typical expression of a man who enjoyed a drink after work despite the
police's tight leisure, and Jude asked with a shrug.
"Why?"
"It's not why. I've called you so many
times, but there's no answer. Did you know you've been kind of dazed lately?
What's wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong. I guess I'm bewitched by someone too. You know, I feel restless."
He tried to pass it over as a joke, but
Jude's sincere partner asked with his eyes wide open.
"Do you? What do you mean, out of the blue,
you want to get out of your solo career?"
Smiling vaguely, Jude drank instead of
talking. Tim sat close with a surprised look.
"What? Really? What's going on all of
a sudden? You haven't said a word about wanting to date a woman for five years.
Why? Did you meet someone nice?"
"Oh, no, no. Is it an easy job for a
police officer to date? We've got to be called in and run out to see blood
every time."
"What's wrong with being a police
officer? When we first met, the title of a police officer works easily."
"Oh, hell. So that's why Rita dumped
you?"
Tim was at a loss for words. While
giggling, Jude tapped Tim on the back feeling a slight apologetic. The name of
the woman with curly brown hair, who broke up with his partner two years ago in
a dignified manner, seemed unexpectedly capable of shaking Tim’s spirit.
Looking at Jude with a sullen face, Tim murmured resentfully.
"What a cruel fellow. You know how
depressed I was at that time."
"Well, I know, I know. I had to take
care of everything back then. It was a good time because I could always get
involved in the drinking party of a reckless Tim, even though it's true that I
had a hard time cleaning up after you."
"Is that what we're talking
about?"
"Ahahahah, sorry, sorry. But still?
Tim, you're unexpectedly a virgin, aren't you?"
"What's the surprise, it’s not
unexpected."
"Come on, that's how popular you look.
Would you listen to that? There's alcohol left. Drink, drink. Mr Timothy
Maxwell with a broad heart."
Tim, which looked at Jude with a puzzled
look for a moment, soon shook his head with a smile.
"You can't stop me. I feel like being a
fool in front of you."
"Isn't that a compliment?"
"Yes, it's a compliment. Drink up,
I'll go to the bathroom."
Playfully slapping on the side of Tim
standing up from his seat, Jude waved his glass with a smile on his face. In
the glass glowing in amber, the ice crashed into it with a clear sound. Very
slowly, he spills the cold, light orange liquid into his throat, and Jude
squints his eyes. Under the transparent glass surface that sparkled with
lighting and alcohol, a familiar smiling face seemed to emerge.
Alvin Jones. The smile disappeared from the
blond detective's face. He was just a criminal, and for Jude, he was just
someone that needs to be caught in terms of work. There was no resentment or
other feelings in between. Until the first few weeks of knowing his name, it
was undoubtedly true. Criminal, police. What more explanation is needed.
-You know you've been kind of dazed lately?
I was spacing out. It was a bad sign. However, it was also difficult for Jude
to control himself. It was a reaction to being invaded. Yeah, I was being
invaded. The hand that held the glass
was slightly strengthened. He climbed up to the top of a wall that no one had
ever done over the years, step by step, smiling, reaching out his hand, and
stirring it at will. And somehow, ever since he appeared, memories of his
childhood, like a vision, have been bubbling up to the surface. Reflecting on
it, he couldn't help but feel flustered.
If it had been an act of malice to confuse
him by someone else, he would have taken the knife and cut them off. Strangely,
however, indeed, the reluctance to push him was more than expected. Is it
because the other is approaching beyond his walls, with frankness? Even so, to
not cut him off means that...
"Well, hey."
Unconsciously unwinding his hardened face, Jude
turned to the side where the voice was heard. The man, who was not very big in
stature, was staring at Jude with a smile of unknown intention. How long
have you been sitting next to me?-Surprised by the faint presence of someone,
Jude looked into the man's eyes. Like a mantis, the eyes looked strangely
unfeeling.
"Do you believe in angels?"
The blond detective, for a moment, was
genuinely dazed.
"...what?"
"Angel. The messenger of justice from
God. Do you believe in angels?"
"Ah....haha, ha. I don't know."
"You don't believe it?"
Showing no sign of being hurt, the man
asked Jude again with a smile. It was almost certain that he will ask again,
and Jude nodded awkwardly. Barely blinking, the man asked again.
"Why don't you believe it?"
"Eh ... well, I don't know. I've never
thought about it, and I've seen a lot of things that are too ugly to believe
that God exists….."
"What do you do?"
I’m someone who does a lot of what you're
doing to me right now, trying to get answers under pressure, that is,
interrogation. Of course, murmuring inwardly, Jude took a glance at Tim’s
disappearance and answered.
"I'm a policeman."
"Ah, it’s the police! So what I do might
help you."
"........what are you trying to do?"
Bringing people into the arms of the Lord
and lowering the crime rate? At the insincere question, the man leaned close to
Jude and whispered, as if telling him a secret to overthrow a country.
"I heard the voice of an angel a few
days ago."
"..........oh, is that so?"
"The angel said to me, having had many
years of faith and immune to all kinds of persecution, he said he would give me
a chance of unparalleled glory."
"Oh, is that so? That's great."
Crying anxiously at his partner who
disappeared to the bathroom -Tim! Tim! It's my fault! I'll never bring up
anything about Rita again! I won't even say a name with an R in it!- Jude lean
his body to escape the breath of the man whispering nearby, but the man
continued his words regardless of Jude's attitude.
"Detective, do you know what an angel
does?"
"Oh, talking to God."
"It conveys God's will, but it also
punishes those who rebel against God. It is an angel, a divine messenger that
literally embodies God's will on earth instead. An angel that is so beautiful, so
noble, so strong, that no one can dare to harm...... a holy being that we all
have to be in awe of..."
A fanatic? Looking at the man, Jude held
his handcuff in his pocket and opened it. It's not as tiring to be held up by a
fanatic. Seeing the excited eyes looking at something far away, Jude became a
little more nervous. Maybe he didn't even take ‘medicine’. Then I'll be really
tired.
"There are many unbelievers and
criminals in the world. You know that, right?"
"Well, yeah."
I don't care about the unbelievers, but I
know a lot of criminals. If he answered sincerely,
he was afraid that the conversation would be too long, but the man turned his
eyes around and said to Jude, as if he didn't pay much attention to Jude’s
answer in the first place.
"The angel told me. If I kill those
who disobey God, he will give me wings in that number. The wings of an angel!
He said he would let me be a beautiful and noble being who conveys God's will.
He said I could stand at the same height as them and look down at the
world!"
So, if you kill 100 people, he'll give you
100 wings? How do you carry them all? Swallowing silly questions down his throat,
Jude asked the man, looking suspiciously at him.
"......you're, taking
medication?"
When he finally put the unbearable question
out of his mouth, the man shook his head enthusiastically.
"Oh, no, no. I'm perfectly fine right
now. I don't know how long it's been since I've been so lucid. This must be the
power of an angel, it's amazing."
Although he seemed strangely excited, his
clear eyes and fine complexion did not make him seem drunk. His pronunciation
was also clear. Then is the brain itself weird? That's even worse. Jude, who
was carefully looking at the man for signs of being a mental patient, was a
little surprised by the man's behaviour the next moment. He grabbed Jude's arm
and asked Jude with a nervous glint in his eyes.
"So, tell me, because you're a
detective, you know a lot of criminals, right? Let me know. Who deserves to be
punished the most? It's good for the police if I get angel wings, isn't it?"
"No, no, wait, let go of this..."
"What? Let me know. I will definitely
make them my wings. Come on."
The man's grip was stronger than he
thought, so Jude narrowed his eyebrows slightly. He's a small man on the
surface, but where did this strength come from, as the pain spread from his
caught arm. Eventually, he put down his glass and reached out his hand to take
the man's hand off by force, and a voice hit his ear.
"You, who are you?"
It was a stern, slightly angry voice. With
the mixture of the perplexity of one who did not understand the situation and the vigilance
against the sight in front of him, Tim strode to their side. To the partner who
stood and asks with his eyes- "What's going on?" -Jude just shrugged
awkwardly, as he had nothing to explain briefly. When Tim’s eyes, which changed
a little more overbearing than how it was interpreted, turned to the man, the
man suddenly let go of Jude's arms in a hurry as if he was covered in cold
water. Massaging his tingling arm, Jude looked back at the man. The way he shakes
his head around was completely different from before.
"No, I, I just......nothing."
As he jumped up from his seat, the man
quickly put the money on the table and walks toward the bar door. Jude grumbled
briefly, staring blankly at the back of the door as if he was being chased by
something scary.
"What? Why is he scared of Tim and not
scared of me? Do I look like a pushover?"
"No, that's not the problem. What's
with him?"
"Oh, I think it's …… a religious
person."
"A preacher? What, was it too much to
just get him out of here? Then why did he look at me and leave? He can just explain."
"Wasn't it because he was afraid of your
eyes, Tim? The way you stand there and look down is overwhelming."
He spoke lightly to disperse the tense air,
which had solidified into an unusual shape, but Tim still sat facing the bar's
door with suspicious eyes.
"Why does a man who does nothing wrong
go out like he's running away? Did nothing really happen?"
"Well......I've heard some unpleasant
things, but I think he just said it innocuously."
"Unpleasant words?"
"Don't mind what he says."
Just as he was thinking about telling Tim,
a sturdy bartender approached in front of Jude and spoke. At Tim and Jude's
gaze, the bartender, who was wiping the glass, grinned and picked up the money
the man had left behind.
"It's not a day or two when people
come here and say weird things. Religion is good, but that's a bit of a bad
case. Well, he doesn't seem to be an ill person, and he doesn't seem to have
much issue about fighting, so I just leave him alone. It's not that good
because the bar seems to be overcast, but customers are customers."
"Oh, really? Did you do this
often?"
"Sometimes I almost got hit by drunken
people talking about strange religions. He's a nobody, don't worry."
Tim nodded disapprovingly. Then when the
bartender, who greeted him to have a good time, ran to the sound of his order
over there, Tim turned to Jude again.
"So, what did he said? The end of the
world is coming?"
"No, he's going to kill someone and
become an angel."
"..........what?"
Tim's eyes were distorted by suspicion. In
his gaze asking for an explanation, Jude opened his mouth in a casual tone.
"No, it's nothing big. He heard the
voice of an angel. He said that if he killed an unbeliever who committed a
crime, he would give him the wings of an angel as much as that number. He’s
asking me if there's a punishable criminal. He said isn't it good for the
police if he has angel wings?"
"So, what did you say?"
"What should I say? Then, should I
have kindly provided the criminal's name and address? If he has angel wings or
something, I'm the one in much more trouble. Before I said anything, you came
and he just left. That's all, alright."
"But still, killing people isn't
something you’re going to talk about to someone."
While watching Tim’s serious face, as his
eyebrows keep narrowing and his hand touching his chin, Jude slapped him on the
back and burst into laughter.
"Oh, forget it. He's already gone.
Even the bartender said he’s used to people like that. Let's not care, okay? If
you look like this even on break time, you’ll be sick with heartburn then you
can't be a detective anymore."
Tim, who had been tilting his head several
times with the detective's face on, soon relaxed his shoulders and raised his
glass.
"......yes, it's no big deal. Let's
drink, since we're here. Oh, and since you're talking about heartburn, you
should control yourself. You just got out of the hospital. How many cups have
you had? Although insipid, you drink faster than I do."
"Oh, that's not fair! Now, wait, what's
with the sneak taking? Tim!"
"I'm buying it anyway, right?"
"No, that's not the problem. Don't you
think it's too much to give and take? I'm feeling better now, I'm really
feeling better. I haven't had a beer in ages. Tim, okay, I'll drink slowly. Are
you listening? Tii-mmm!"
* * *
OMG!!OMG!!OMG !
ReplyDeleteWHAAT NOOO THANK YOU❤️๐❤️๐
This chapter is everything i needed the huuug he hugged him and jude finally being honest omg i can't my heart TT i am dying ๐ญ
๐๐ hahah you're welcome. We finally know what's inside of Jude's head now. A bit ๐
DeleteThank you sooo much ๐ฅฐ❤๐๐ This chapter was great ❤๐ and I have a question, How old is Jude ? ๐ค
ReplyDelete๐ you're welcome ๐ Well, it's hard to say Jude's exact age because [spoiler] it involves the next plot but from the current plotline we can guess that he's less than 30. He's not that old. Ehheheh. You can decide how old Jude is when we reach that part kay ๐
DeleteThe hhuggg..so fricking cute ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ
ReplyDeleteRightttt ( เน‾̀◡‾́)ฯ »
DeleteIs it just me or is this the first time Alvin called Jude by his name?? ✨ ^ ✨
ReplyDeleteHonestly, their romance is just so pure ๐
It’s amazing how Alvin slowly and patiently entered Jude’s heart ๐
For the first time, mommy Tim is so cool!
Thank you for the chapter!
I forgot if this is the first or not lol since it's been a while that I read from the beginning. And you're welcome <( ̄︶ ̄)>
Delete