BBDW 73 [Black Butterfly] - Nevereverland

Section 86 (UNEDITED) 

In the dark, narrow living room of the apartment, Alvin tapped on the keyboard quietly. As he sifted through the stories of people named Hender Hill, he turned his neck lightly. The blond detective who fell asleep on the sofa was still not making any signs of anything - not even breathing. Alvin glanced over and soon turned to the monitor. Hender Hill, Hender Hill. As he was humming inwardly and scrolling down, Alvin's eyes suddenly narrowed as if he was smiling. That was when an interesting article caught his eye. Alvin, who was checking the related articles, had a slightly deeper smile around his mouth. As he slept quietly, I could see why he asked about Hender Hill. And some of the incomprehensible behaviour he showed. Alvin, who reconstructed the incident in his head, nodded slightly. What happened was before the 1980s. The visual, that child should have seen it. There was a little lack of data to infer the circumstances perfectly, but the overall situation was fully imaginable. It would be rather strange if there was no scar left.  

But even that must have been only one part of the child's life. Alvin grinned at the fact. It was nice of him that he had left him to investigate this fact.

With a rustle, he heard a person moving from behind. Alvin turned his head in no hurry. On the sofa, with only his silhouette visible from the light of a streetlamp coming from outside, he slowly raised his body like a puppet. Alvin briefly blinked to adjust to the darkness in the room from the monitor. Jude, who was sitting on the sofa, grinned as he looked into the air.

Looking at the face, Alvin tilted his head slightly.

 

Jude came down from the sofa and stood up. Looking around for a short time, he soon picked up a jacket that had been hung randomly on the sofa. Alvin, who was looking at such Jude quietly, soon opened his mouth.

"Jude?"

He jerked his head away. His eyes looking at Alvin were somewhat different from his usual, and Alvin got up from the chair where he sat. The step toward Jude was neither quick nor slow. There was definitely focus in his eyes as he closely examined him. At least it didn't seem to have happened in his sleep. Then why? Alvin asked quietly.

"Jude, what's wrong?"  

"......it's you."

Jude suddenly smiled brightly. The moment that he saw a pure mischievous-like smile, the blond man suddenly gave Alvin a big hug, almost like a push. There was no malice in the sudden gesture, and Alvin slumped to the sofa, wondering. Jude rubbed their cheeks lightly with a giggling laugh. In his voice, there was something like sleepiness, which was usually buried in Jude's tone.

"You're the one who makes Julie turn the way Julie was trying to escape."

"Who are you?"

Alvin reached out slightly and pushed him off his shoulder. Pulling himself away from Alvin with a sulky face, he shrugged and spoke.

"I'm Hender."

His brows narrowed for a moment. Alvin, who looked at his face silently for a while, tilted his head and asked back.

"Hender Hill?"

"Yes, I'm Hender Hill, Julie's root. It's weird, I used to be the roots. Julie's been living longer, and I've become a branch."

With his mouth sticking out, he tugged at his hair. Alvin smiled faintly. He was self-aware of what he meant by what he saw before his eyes. He didn't have the habit of being shocked or denying what was happening right in front of him. And the fact that is now being pushed into him made Alvin feels quite fresh. To Hender, who plopped next to Alvin, he asked the blond man silently.

"So, since when have you been around?"

"Since Julie's been around.... well, since recently. The day before yesterday, I went to the place where Julie used to play while Julie was sleeping, and no one was there."

"'Since Jude's been around.' Are you talking about after 10 years old? So you're the one created from his memory before he was 10 years old?"

"Yeah - it's not that simple."

Hender murmured and frowned indistinctly. Rather than a troubled face, the child seemed to be agonizing over a toy.

"At first glance, yes, but I'm not the original Hender. To be exact, it's the Hender Julie forced out. I had no choice but to show up because Julie was being silly."

"Hender forced out by Jude? So you're saying he needs you?"

"Yeah, Julie needs me. That's why he called me.… Uh-huh, I don't know.”

"Why, why do you think he needs you?"

He glanced back at Alvin. Hender, who was playing with his own hair, soon began to pull Alvin's hair. Hender, who briefly admired the pretty hair colour, said, rolling his eyes slowly like a student solving a difficult math problem.

"That's because-- Julie's not being honest. Julie is too... he kept on turning his head. But it can't go on forever either."

"Not honest?"

He twisted Alvin's hair with his fingers. He looked like some sort of animal playing with thread.

"Julie is so complicated. And he's open. He's similar to you. But he wasn't like that in the first place. It's because of me, too. It's partly because of you. But it's Julie after all."

It was a vague remark. Alvin tilted his head slightly. Perhaps he didn't think Alvin understood, Hender squinted and began to pick a word in his mouth. His head bobbed on both sides.

"I mean…. forgetting things can be difficult. It's something he shouldn't forget…. yeah, like Jenny and Toby."

Jenny and Toby. Alvin's eyes grew slightly bigger. It was the names that popped up several times, but Jude himself couldn't pick up anything. An unhurried voice came out of his mouth.

"Who are they?"

"My friends, they were with me on 146th Street. We were the only ones there. We played together all day. It was really fun. I wasn't even lonely at the time. Of course, it was hard because of him, but we had fun nonetheless."

Hender's face quickly perked up. Glittering like a child telling his friend's story to his mother, he turned to Alvin and sat down. His hands fluttered in the air as if they were engrossed and lively.

"You know, Jenny, she was such a coward. She's a girl, she cries a lot and she's nice. She always played mom when we were playing house. Well, well, and Toby's a boy, and he was really scary. He was kind of cool, but if we get beaten, Toby usually deals with him. I mean, he was a scary kid, good at fighting and cursing. But he was great though, he did it for my sake a lot anyway."

"Oh, I see. So, what happened?"

At Alvin's question, Hender's smile was completely gone. His eyes toward Alvin quickly became desolate and he turned elsewhere. He shook his leg as if he had quickly lost interest. A moment later, a muffled sound came out.

"Jenny's dead."

"Oh, how'd that happen?"

"Toby killed her."

It was a concise tone. It was like swallowing bitter medicine all at once, and as soon as Alvin tried to ask again, Hender stretched his body back.

"Yeah- I don't know, I don't want to talk anymore. It wasn't that good either."

"So, what happened to Toby after that?"

"I don't know, I said I didn't want to talk!”

A face with an angry voice rang. He pushed Alvin away with his feet and plopped down on the sofa. He seemed sleepy seeing that his eyes were half-closed.

"Today… I was going to go there again. Tch, but you made me feel bad.”

"I'm sorry about that. Is that where you used to be with your friends?"

"Yeah, there was a big fireplace. It wasn't very warm even in winter, but... Huaam, you, uh, don't tell Julie that you saw me..."

"Why? Didn't you say you were born because of Jude and said he needs you. Is there any reason why you’re hiding from Jude?"

Hender glanced at Alvin. It was a poor look.

"......if Julie finds out, Julie will be anxious. And.... will try to get rid of me.”

"Just because he wanted to get rid of you doesn't mean you're gone."

"But... Julie can do it... Yeah, I don't know if it's good or what, but don't tell him. I'm scared of Julie. I’m scared of him a lot more than him….”

Hender shuddered once. Alvin's eyes narrowed slightly. Hender soon closed his eyes, babbling something like a whimper. The way he curled up was just like a young animal. Alvin, who had been looking at him with his chin on his hand for a while, picked up the blanket that had fallen on the floor, put it back on him, and got up from his seat and sat down in front of the laptop. Alvin's face, lit by the weak light of the monitor, was overshadowed by a simple shade of colour.

*        *        *


Comments

  1. Omg waiting for more chapters ....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You might have to wait a bit longer 😭 I wish I could update faster but rl didn't agree with me 😢 And thanks for reading ♥️

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  2. Thank you for the chapter<3 Oh, and to Agent J too ofc haha. I'm just feeling blissful from Alvin and Jude being together irl and not only through a phone call, this novel has made me tresuring even the slightest intimate interaction between them - just from how Alvin is happy that he was trusted by Jude to investigate or putting the blanket on him got me squealing inside haha. I'm really looking forward to when Jude will show affection to Alvin, but it also feels right that the development is slow considering his trauma and that they've actually not interacted that much

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You're welcome 😘 hahah I get it. Let me add one more spoon of sugar there. Remember how Alvin lets HenJude messes with his hair 😍 Okay we can scream now 😆

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  3. Split personality? So the reason why Jude doesn't have any memories from before he arrived at the orphanage was because he was a newly created personality to cope with whatever traumatic event (probably Jude and Toby were forced to kill Jenny for some reason in order to live). If everything took place in NYC, maybe he had a similar childhood to Joshua, where the adults forced them to do stuff. His earlier claustrophobia from the airplane also probably has something to do with it (going on a stretch, but perhaps they were all locked in a room together? cannibalism? hopefully not)

    I've been following this novel for years now haha and im so excited with all this new plot. ty for the chapters!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your theory is very interesting 😌 Look at my smile full of meaning hehe. I guess we are fellow fan of this novel since Hwarang posted the first chapter during Kill the Lights 😆 Waiting all these years sure is not easy ♥️ And you're welcome.

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  4. Ahh i can't wait to know more about Jude/Julie and his story it's really interesting and Alvin acting so normally in that situation he even covered Jude 🤭
    Thank you ❤️💯

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    Replies
    1. Yeah knowing about Jude will be the best part ever ♥️ And you can expect many more normal interactions between them after this 😆 And you're welcome 😉

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  5. Hi.. I want you to ask for your permission to re-translate this novel to my language, Arabic on Wattpad.

    I will give credit to both you and author.

    Hopefully waiting for your reply.

    Thank you for your hard work on this novel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for asking but sorry, no. I've got quite a few re-translation requests actually but the idea of someone else interpreting my interpretation of this novel didn't sit well with me. There are a lot of reading between the lines I've done here and there are some sentences where I didn't translate them literally and instead translate the implicit meaning behind them since I know people wouldn't understand if I use the literal meaning. Because we need to be a Korean speaker or be familiar with how a Korean speak to understand them. I'm aware that I have a lot of shortcoming at translating this novel (and as you can see all the chapters are marked unedited because these are not the final version that I'm satisfied with) but I hope you can respect my wish. And thank you for reading. I hope you're still a fan of this novel even though I decline your request ♥️

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